self-indulgence

University

2012-02-04T17:49:00.002+08:00

The topic that is popping up more frequently than ever before. And usually I wouldn't mind it, because that is afterall the most interesting thing that can be happening to anyone's life - transition. People are constantly intrigued by change, although whether this fascination translates to something positive or negative is a whole different story. But yes, that's why the topic of decisions I will be making after A-levels is probably such a "hot" one.

I still remember post O-levels. I was so bent and determined on pursuing my interests in polytechnic. My mother shared the same determination as I had, unfortunately in a different area. She wanted me to take the other route to junior college, complete A-levels to get a better, higher chance of entering one of the local universities. This was the path that was most familiar to me. Junior college mostly entailed the same kind of routine I had experienced in secondary school. (Noting of course, that the A-level curriculum is much more rigorous and of a whole different standard than what you would expect at O-levels.)

But yes, at that time, junior college seemed like another prison for me. It appeared that if I chose A-levels instead of a diploma, I would be missing out on what might be the time of my life doing the things I love, instead of studying subjects that wouldn't matter to me at all once I graduate. Typical mentality of students, I hear you say. But it is true, and that's the charm of polytechnic diplomas.

Needless to say, I caved in to my mother's demands and entered junior college. However at this point I must say that I do not regret this path. Yes, halfway through those two years, I felt so much like giving up. Most of the time I felt just like an average student who was short of true intellect to gain respect. It was not easy at all. But now that I'm past those two years, it feels so good to say that I survived junior college. I survived it. I didn't just scrape through it. Although when the A-level results are released... That might change a little. I mean that in a bad way.

My point is, yes, I feel good about doing junior college. It may be a good thing that I chose this path, who knows? Yet right now, I'm about to make the really final academic-related decision that I'll ever make in my entire life (let's not think about graduate studies yet) - university. And guess what? My mother doesn't think that going overseas to study is a great idea at all.

On my part, I would really appreciate some support. The fact that I actually did what she wanted me to do - junior college - is testament that I did think about what she wanted for me. But right now, at this point in time of my life, I am 18 years old. This is exactly the time of your life when you should be doing something that isn't the norm. Taking risks and failing. Go overseas to study thinking you have the best time of your life but end up studying your butt off because you just got reminded that you paid shitload of money for this. That's exactly what I want to do.

The local universities are kickass. I know that. But it doesn't matter to me. Why should I not dare to aim for the impossible? I'm not rich, so it's gonna take me a generous scholarship to bring me to where I want to be. I'm not even sure if I'm going to do well enough to get a place in the college. How am I less deserving of an experience that is so readily available to those who can afford it? Why should I stop dreaming about it?

Now that I finished my A-levels, life is so much better. But I still have these to worry about. It just never ends does it? Here, in chronological order: results in March, which will determine my chance of a scholarship, scholarship application/interview (if I am so lucky to be shortlisted), and in April, I will be informed of my college acceptance/rejection. The best part is ALL three parts have to go my way or I won't get what I'm dreaming of.

This year is so important.

Just getting by

2012-01-26T14:52:00.001+08:00

Regardless of personal beliefs, I think everyone desires a meaningful life. No one wants to live feeling like they're less worthy than an ant, whose hardworking instincts is in fact its purpose in life.

Taking the example of the ant further, is purpose built-in? Is it part of our biology? That is, some say, reproducing. Let's just say that I have some really strong opinions about certain topics of interest, but for this and some others, I really have none. Not a result of indifference, but a matter of feeling inadequate to make my own opinion on the matter.

In fact, why should having an opinion of anything and everything be a good thing other than the fact that you're well read? But no one knows everything so most of the time, people would think of you as annoying.

This post is just a ramble of thoughts after work. Thank you for your understanding. (I'm only assuming.)

Pre-weekend reflection

2012-01-20T23:01:00.004+08:00

Having a routine sure helped. Waking up at 6.15, going to school, hiding at her desk, meeting young people in a phase she had just survived, going home on a well-deserved, quiet bus ride home - they kept her mind out of emotions she did not want to feel. She was back at the familiar, with people she knew she could relate to; both young and, well, the less young. Her routine kept her going as the week passed by so easily. Almost too easily. But she was glad nevertheless. She had made it without feeling sorry for herself or frustrated with the way of the world. She was proud of herself.

Although there was a tiny problem: routine was hardly associated with romance. What was romance without some spontaneity? And there she was, hit by the realisation that routine could kill them both. Yet with the 13-hour time difference, there was little she could do. Instead, she chose to believe in the near future. That in a little more than four months' time, all her worries would disappear, even if only temporary. Time was her only enemy.

She believed that he, like her, did not think that routine would be the death of them. Love was not romance. They are hardly ever the same thing at all, are they? She believed romance was fleeting; love was true. Romance demands the physical, but love does not. Romance desires pleasure, whereas love fills and nourishes. And she also believed that they shared the latter. However, being her, she knew that it would be useless to only believe and not know for sure if she was right. She could not wait to see him, in person, again.

Videos

2012-01-18T21:34:00.002+08:00

Just a list of videos that you might want to check out if you are bored + want to feel hopeful/touched/emotional.

And another list of videos, of AWESOME performances that I can't stop watching over and over again.

I'm far away but I'll never let you go

2012-01-13T18:13:00.002+08:00

I realised that I haven't posted any music for quite some time now, and I've been listening to a few songs on repeat simply because I can relate. Although not *totally*, like the sadder parts etc, you can figure that one out yourself.

It's going to be 5 months till I go over to Boston, but I'm going to try to fill up my time as much as possible so time will be well spent. For example I just signed up for French classes!!! Finally fulfilling one of my to-do's after A's. And I'm also going to be signing up for pilates real soon cause I really need to keep fit... Been so lethargic lately, I wonder if that's related to how unfit I am physically.

Had our first skype session last night (Singapore time) and it always makes my day! ♥

Farewell parties

2012-01-04T01:45:00.001+08:00

Everyone's selfish, she thought. She was trying to rationalize her demands. Demands that she would never voice out to him, just because she knew with absolute certainty that they were impossible. She knew that she was not living in a movie where the realities of life were so easily and willingly forgotten.

She was not a perfect girl. Definitely not in her appearance, intelligence, thoughts, and social life. She was a girl who was tired of trying to be perfect for herself and for the world. Could anyone blame her for her selfish thoughts? Why would anyone think of creating parties for the purpose of farewell? Should not the term 'farewell party' be banned for the sanctity of the close ones to the one who was bid goodbye? Why torture her by asking her to attend an event that would remind her of what was to come?

She was by no means religious, but each time she laid beside him, she prayed for a way that could help her to remember every single detail about him. His snore, which she would like to imagine as only tolerable by her, made possible by her love. The way he treated her like no one would, and more importantly, could. How much fun they would have in each other's arms doing anything at all. What could she do to capture every bit of it to accompany her when he was no longer readily available?

She was most distraught by how he did not seem to be distraught. Perhaps it worked differently for the genders; she knew he loved her more than she could imagine, like he would always say. And he began to learnt how emotional females could get, although several instances before have shown warning signs. He tried to calm her down, to stop her from crying like how a parent would with his baby. Consistent, firm pats on her back did not work. Neither did hushing. His worst attempt at trying to calm her tear ducts was with words - the realist way.

"You will not be alone. I will do whatever it takes to be there for you whenever I can." She believed in that as she believed in him. But that was not enough for her. She did not blame him - it really was the most he could do. Unless she expected him to fly over to exactly where she was whenever she was feeling down. Except she secretly did.

Distance

2011-12-29T04:46:00.001+08:00

Where do I begin? There are so many things to miss. I'm writing this now, in consideration of myself perhaps a few months down, when you're halfway around the world.

How to prepare yourself for a change? A change that you know will, every now and then - purely whenever it ao selfishly feels like - cause your insides to churn and stir; cause you to choke up, and the only comfort is to stay indoors and in bed under the sheets. Asleep and distant from the truth of someone else's absence.

But this is not just any kind of absence. It cannot be readily resolved. It's not a matter of a drive, nor a train or bus ride. Absence that particularly drives you mad because you know that the only way to rid that annoying yearning is with patience and time. And yes, I am impatient.

A few months ago, this dreaded feeling would have been a result of insecurities and paranoia. Now, I'm glad to say that the cause has matured. Yet it's hard to imagine days knowing that you're no longer a taxi ride away. That when I wake up in the morning (or mostly afternoon), you're not there to smile hello.

A little more than a week. (Or at least that's what I think - I haven't dared to count precisely.)

A little more than a week and I'll still be here, missing every thing. The ceaseless supply of hugs, listener who's adapted to tolerating all kinds of verbal nonsense and my random emotionally charged confessions, rather regular discussions about anything (that, I really do enjoy), free rides (joy of my life really), and most of all, your plain old presence. That, is always enough.

I know I can always turn to Donne's comforts about how distance is so overrated. Even more impressive is how in those times, communication at most would only mean an old fashioned letter; nothing compared to what we modern men have now really. But it will never able to reproduce what presence does.

I'm going to make a scrapbook.

FREEEEEEEEE

2011-11-28T14:43:00.002+08:00

So the A levels are over and done with now, and everything - freedom, time, ability to relax and not worry about thing - seems so surreal. Maybe it has to do with how I've been treating school and work such that I'm not really stirred by the reality that I'm officially done with formal education. But I'm still gonna bask in my "glory" and enjoy whatever I have right now! Soon enough the whole cycle is gonna start again, I would think. Life is never always this kind. But that's okay, cause that's what makes it interesting.

I'm trying this whole "girly wirly" thing - make up, dressing up; just plain vanity at its best - and I hope I'm doing this thing right! Is it wrong that I feel like I deserve treating myself the way I should? Of course how I "should" is subjective and for my case, it's making myself look pretty. Which girl doesn't want to look pretty?! Yeah sure that girl who keeps saying, "I'm different, I don't give a shit about looks," hoping some guy will buy it.

I HAVEN'T HAD LUNCH SINCE I WOKE AT 2!!!! I should be dead by now. Okay I'm gonna go have my awesome food (lunch) and head out and play Sims 3!!!!! YESSSSSS Life is good ♡

LOVE YOU ALL hope life is treating you well :-)

Lazy and not doing anything about it

2011-10-19T22:42:00.001+08:00

One day I'm gonna dig into my archives and find this post, and probably regret. I need to seriously get my ass together and do shit.

How did I manage to motivate myself last time? I only can remember the "good stuff", like how I would be able to study for 5 hours straight and not be distracted. Pretty sure that wasn't really the case.

Reminder to self: if you're not going to do work now you're going to regret later!!!!!!!!!!! Ahhhh!!!!!

PS: I just typed all of this on the blogger app for iPhone. Heh. Naise.

Awake

2011-10-17T03:42:00.004+08:00

[Decided to add some photos so you visual creatures won't get bored. Haaaa]

Good morning everyone. I'm still awake, stalking people on Facebook. Nothing really purposeful to say today, except needed to "talk".

Day I fainted. It was a good experience really. Felt like a deep and fulfilling sleep. Although I woke up with really wobbly legs and faint head. And everyone was really nice to me too so overall, good job me!!!

I've very recently made some (apparently good, well I couldn't taste cause of my cold) aglio olio and was quite glad how it turned out. I'll try to make it again, this time round with my smell-buds (is that what you call them?) and my sense of taste. One of the biggest joys in life was taken away from me, though it's only for now so I'm rather glad, and I really really hate it. :-(

I just want to say that I feel really blessed by the person who is residing (hopefully for good; pretty sure it's for good) in my life now. It's really an awesome gift from whoever - you didn't leave a name, but here's hoping you're reading this somehow. :-)

It feels really good to have someone who will love you most on days when you wake up and your hair is in a total mess, when your complexion is like crap and he doesn't give a shit, and when you wear just an oversized T-shirt, shorts and slippers and he'll still say you're beautiful.

But then again it's also bad cause I have less inclination to dress up and put in more effort into looking good. -____- So I've also been consciously reminding myself to stop slacking and start dolling. Although nothing much has really changed: make up is still quite a big question mark to me. Sometimes I wonder, will I ever start? Maybe I'm just a slow learner.

Okay I have to sleep now super tired. I just installed Sims 3 Deluxe on my macbook. WOOPEEDOO!!!!!

Oh and school has ended, finally. MY JC LIFE IS FINALLY OVER. Never thought it would ever end. Please don't get me started. In any case, I met some really awesome people and I love them to bits and pieces. :-)

Anyways I can't believe A's are gonna be here soon! In a dilemma: should I be worried that it's coming in less than a month or should I be glad that it's gonna be over in less than two? Life is always so contradictory. Looking forward to catching up on reading though. I foresee a future filled with lazy days sitting around quaint cafes having a latte while reading all the NYT bestsellers. Yes, that's how I choose my books. I need to devise a better plan for my reads. But then again I really do trust NYT a lot.

Love everybody. I'm starting to feel hungry. That's my cue to sleep. x

All preach but no action

2011-10-13T01:32:00.004+08:00

I'm sure almost everyone who is active on Facebook would have seen this image by now:

Is it just me or is this image really annoyingly preachy? There are so many flaws in this "catchy" tagline. But let's just be clear about something - I do care about the Africans and their many seemingly unresolvable issues and I'm really blessed to be born in a country like Singapore. Nevertheless what this image does to me is to only turn me off. And here are the reasons why.

#1: Who says nobody cries for Africa?

By 'cry' I would assume 'care', 'concern', 'assistance', 'aid', 'awareness' etc. The thing about the tagline is that it exaggerates the so-called "inaction" that we have towards the African countries that are suffering.

There are SO many examples that I could list down right here to show you how much people do care about the issues Africans face. Every year so many entrepreneurs and NGOs come up with innovative and novel ways of solving even the tiniest issues Africans face in their daily lives. The filter straw, glasses with liquid so that you can adjust the degree accordingly, bananas with enhanced nutrients and so on. Are these not examples of how people care?

The fact that the creator ignores all these contributions just shows how ignorant and shallow he is. Sure, perhaps you don't give a shit about Steve Jobs' passing. But this, in my opinion is plain disrespect for someone who has made so much impact on the world.

#2 Steve Jobs versus the Africans

Firstly, let's just say that 'the Africans' is just a really, REALLY broadly generalised group of people that we have come to associate with dark coloured skin, skinny bodies, unhealthy looks, bloated tummies, dirty houses etc. In fact, how many can truly say that they understand the problems these people face everyday? I, for one, can't bring myself to say that.

We lack so much understanding about these people that we only see their suffering that is reported in newspapers or magazines. We don't know them (culture-wise, practices, etc) and why should we? There is almost no form of "direct" communication, unlike with Jobs, who communicates with us with Apple products and his keynotes.

Why should it be wrong that we react so strongly towards the news of his passing? Imagine a close family member passing away and liken that to Jobs. The relationship, however superficial and commercial, between the world and Jobs is almost like how a friend/family member's passing would affect us greatly.

Why should we suppress our sadness of our friend's/family member's passing because there are others out there who are also dying? Similarly, we have "known" Jobs and why is it wrong to mourn the loss of a great person? And just to reiterate, people have and are still concerned and affected by the problems in African countries.

#3: The people who repost the picture.

Stop preaching and fly to Africa now if you are really so concerned. But I know you wouldn't. So just shut up.

Ok I'm super sleepy so I might continue this another day. Still super annoyed by the picture. It is really a very inconsiderate and shallow perspective.

Yay

2011-10-03T23:56:00.003+08:00

I finally changed my blog's text font to Ariel! I think it's ttthis close to being the most awesome font in the world cause it's so easy to read and so balanced. But I shall leave the other comments on its aesthetic beauty to graphic design kiddos who will know more and better than me, mere JC kid who is about to sit for A levels in a month but isn't doing ANYTHING about it. So she's gonna fail and be a slacker and live off her rich husband like a boss.

Let me tell you a secret. I think I have something for Capricorn guys!! Well not that it's gonna matter anymore cause I now have the bestest best best Capricorn guy tied to me forever.

BUT it's a really weird/scary/fascinating/cool trend that I've realised! Of all my exes (please do not take it as I have a lot cause they're only a few), all of them are Capricorns! Ok actually at the back of my mind I have the impression that one is not but I'm lazy to check.

CONCLUSION: I HAVE A THING FOR CAPRICORN GUYS.

Another observation - I don't think I've ever met a Pisces/Cancer guy or girl before. Or maybe I just didn't know their birthdays ah well.

I feel like collecting My Little Pony toys. Should I? They all look so cute. And I'm in love with their flash game. Everypony, please go to hubworld and play.

GOODNIGHTT ♥

I do not like you

2011-09-30T00:46:00.002+08:00

Here are some reasons why:

1) You're loud and talk too much. I think I'm a pretty good listener, but any listener would always appreciate some kind of opportunity to speak at some point. It's not always about you and your stories - you aren't the center of my universe. Or our universe, for that matter.

2) You don't know how to draw a stinking line. I may be nice, but I'm not that tolerant. Besides, I don't know you that well to be. :s

Sorry, but as much as I would love to be all-accepting and liberal and trusting and what-not, I'm not. I don't trust anyone easily (well, not anymore, for very good reasons.) and what makes you think that a few meetings with you, with hardly any beyond-surface-level information exchanged about ourselves to each other, would let me put my faith in you?

Maybe some day, when I stop having bad dreams about you, I might just trust you with what I have. But until then, I'm sorry that I can't. I hope you understand.

Ambition

2011-07-30T00:45:00.002+08:00

This topic has recently been haunting me and tonight there was quite an elaborate discussion about this, so I decided to pen (obviously in figurative terms) it down.

Most of us have a lot of ambition when we're young. And mostly these ambitions change or evolve as time passes. When I was 6, I had a whiteboard and lots of available notebooks (used for "marking attendance"), so I wanted to be a teacher. When I was 12, I wanted to get into a certain secondary school because my cousin - who was my hero at that point in time - was from there. When I was 16, I wanted to get into a certain polytechnic because I felt that I was meant to from the start.

Of all these ambitions that I've had so far, only one of them actually panned out.

Now, as I am 17 (soon to hit the 18 mark!), I realise that I have a lot of ambition. I desire to get into this certain university for various reasons; I desire to obtain a certain set of grades for my next major examinations; I desire to work for a certain company of a certain status - although this one is not really well-thought out yet. I do hope that as compared to my ambitions in the past, all my current ones will actually work out in the end. But who am I kidding? Things don't always go your way.

The thing about ambition is that it is - you have to admit - limited by capability. For some fortunate souls, their talent supports their ambition. But for those who are like me, other than a high-5 and a proposed pity party we should throw for the occasion, ambition does not always translate into talent.

We've heard this many times: everyone - every single one of us - has a talent; a special ability that makes us, well, special in comparison to others. If that's true (and I'd like to believe it's true), then to be extremely and brutally honest, I don't know what my talent is.

For starters, I'm not good in writing. I'm definitely not the best writer around. My writing's largely simple and straightforward, with very little range in vocabulary. I tend to use extremely generic and simplistic words, which can be as much as a bad thing as it could be a good thing. Largely depends on how you see it.

I also used to think that I was *good* in terms of my aesthetic ability. But thinking about it, what is 'good' anyway? Is it in relative to others? If it is, which others? Should I be comparing myself with the best or those who are similar like me? If I compare my aesthetic ability to those similar like me, then what is the point of doing so? Would I be deluding myself of the reality that is there are much more people who are waaay better than me?

I've been thinking: what if my talent is actually not a potential money-making tool, but an ability that helps others instead of myself? I'd think that actually complicates and depresses things so much more, because what greater joy is there than to actually fulfill an ambition directly related to an individual talent?

More so, what is the purpose of ambition? Why are we all working so hard for something that is transient and a potential sabotage of our own character and social life? We live to die - every second that we live is a second we're slowly dying. Why choose to live life the hard way by aspiring to achieve almost every single thing we know?

I'm sorry for the abruptness in ending this post, but I just almost fell asleep in front of the computer. Guess it's time to sleep now. Might continue this!

x

Reminder to self

2011-07-18T23:43:00.001+08:00

HARD WORK WILL PAY OFF. SO SCOOT OFF AND GO DO SOME PRODUCTIVE WORK NOW!!!!!

Life is conflicting

2011-07-18T16:34:00.001+08:00

Maybe it's part of my age (I am indeed nearing the supposed coming-of-age era i.e. to finally be 18 years old), but I've come to conclusion about many things recently.

Here's one: Relationships are complicated. Strangely enough, I believe this applies more for friendships as compared to romantic relationships.

Friendships are extremely hard to balance. The plain (and perhaps scathing for some of you) fact is that friends are usually placed 2nd below significant others. And I've experienced this as both the friend-who-got-placed-second AND as the friend-who-placed-hers-second.

Maybe I am an isolated example. Maybe my friendships with people weren't strong enough. Not that I am resenting being placed 2nd; to me, it is a mere fact that we all, sooner or later, have to accept.

Although at this point I have to acknowledge that I do have friendships that are strong and have proved their faithfulness over time. These people are the ones whom I know I can go to whenever for whatever and I'm really thankful and blessed to have. But tensions and questions will always arise and when they do, they're hard to resolve because there is no clear line or definition.

There are in fact so many other reasons why I find friendships especially hard to handle. Maybe it's a good thing; maybe it isn't.

For me, I think I'm doing an okay (not fantastic though) job of juggling the kinds of relationships that I'm in. I'm just hoping that in the future, I will be able to maintain this balance because after all the different types of relationships that we're in (friendships, romantic, familial) each provide us with some thing the others can't. They each assume a different role in our lives and so every one is significant.

So the reason why I'm writing this down now is because if future-me is reading this, current-me wants you to reflect now on whether you have done achieved that. If you have not, go bloody do some thing about it. If not, you're living a life wasted.

Also, remember who you are and do not get caught up with whatever everyone expects you to do or whoever they want you to be. Just remember that when you were young (I.e. 17 years old) you believed strongly in keeping to your principles. In other words, don't be the person your 17-year-old-self swore not to be! If you have all that, I am glad and utterly pleased that being an adult has not changed me at all.

Ok just typed all of this while waiting for econs lesson to start. Bai bai!

Sent from my BlackBerry Wireless Handheld.

Book Of Love

2011-07-02T15:48:00.000+08:00

The book of love is long and boring
No one can lift the damn thing
It's full of tracks and facts and figures
And instructions for dancing

But I -
I love it when you read to me
And you -
You can read me anything

The book of love is full of music
In fact that's where music comes from
Some of it's just transcendental
Most of it is just really dumb

But I -
I love it when you sing to me
And you -
You can sing me anything

The book of love is long and boring
And written very long ago
It's full of flowers and heart-shaped boxes
And things we're all too young too know

But I -
I love it when you give me things
And you -
You should give me wedding rings

(As performed by Nataly Dawn)
Sent from my BlackBerry Wireless Handheld.

Re: Presents

2011-06-24T01:54:00.001+08:00

Please ignore and forgive all grammatical mistakes in the post. I'm writing this while in bed so my mind's not functioning well. Will edit the post tomorrow afternoon!

Sent from my BlackBerry Wireless Handheld.

Presents

2011-06-24T01:47:00.001+08:00

It may be a little too fast, but I think I've come to the age where birthdays and their associated presents no longer excite me as much as before. And I'm taking it as a good thing for now.

I'm not exactly sure why I've lost interest, but I guess I could attribute it to an increased understanding of how the world works.

When I was in primary (and maybe secondary) school, birthday presents were extremely important. They were the fundamental of your so-called popularity. The equation was direct: more presents meant more popularity.

And this was true in ANY situation. Whether or not the sender of your present put in any effort, the fact that you got a physical present was a statement on its own. Well I also have to admit that that was what I was concerned about when I was 14. But that was in the past.

But as I get older, I realise that I really don't care for presents like photo frames or generic presents that I really don't need. What I really wanted as I got older was a sincere act or thought, which was really easily achieved by a simple, non-extravagant dinner.

Although, I have totally nothing against birthday celebrations modeled after 'My Super Sweet 16'. I have absolutely no right to comment that. However I've just always found "it" fascinating: my near disregard for my own birthday.

On a related (but maybe not so) note, the reason why I decided to blog about presents is because I suddenly got reminded of a childhood present that meant a lot to me. Of all the other presents I got as a child (I.e. Under 12 years old), this one left the greatest impression on me.

It would have been easily bought by any parent from any departmental store. But this faux-Barbie was actually from Indonesia, and was a present from my then-maid.

Let me just say that I was a rather picky child and if my mom got me the same fake doll my maid did, I would have RAGED. But I didn't. I'm going to be honest and say that I didn't LOVE the doll, but I was so touched I could feel tears in my eyes.

My maid didn't earn a lot. She was young, and I assumed she was working to contribute to her family then. For her to spend her own money on someone she's not related to and actually had to wait on, I really felt bad about it... Especially when I had ASKED for a doll.

I guess I can say that my maid and I were rather close. I liked hugging her when I was upset and cried - although she would find it irritating sometimes. In some ways she was like a parent or older sister.

The doll - along with all my other Barbie's - was thrown or donated away when I moved when I was secondary one. But the memory of it is still quite clear in my mind.

I guess what I can say is that it doesn't matter WHAT present it is. It's the thought and effort behind preparing or getting the present that ultimately counts.

Sent from my BlackBerry Wireless Handheld.

list of after-A's activities

2011-06-21T01:54:00.002+08:00

Maybe I'm a few months too early to be planning this now, but doesn't hurt to think of all the great things lying beyond the prospect of A levels as a source of motivation. :)

1) Spend more time with the people whom I've sacrificed bonding time with in order to study

2) Learn French and attempt to read Le Petit Prince in French.

3) Get an internship somewhere....

4) Move house. New house where I can hang out in the living room and dining area without being subjected to the torture of (wanted to swear here but I figured that would be a bad idea) cigarette smoke.

5) Read the entire Harry Potter series

funny cat videos

2011-06-20T14:51:00.002+08:00

I shall be nice and post something more light-hearted this time: videos of cats being retarded.

That should be enough to keep you for now.

Internal conflict

2011-06-17T17:04:00.000+08:00

I really hate it when my mind just REFUSES to stop going against - for a lack of better word - my heart. For someone who's always thinking about something (except for times when my mind decides to take a break and I look like I'm "emo-ing" but I'm actually "stoning"), my mind loves to figure out all the possibilities of what could happen or all sides of an argument. And this hasn't been very helpful when it comes to my relationships with people.

For one, my mind just loves to be cynical. For every compliment, action, decision etc, I always like to find a hidden motive. Because of that I've always been really wary of people and am always thinking about the negative aspect of people. And I've come to realise that not everyone is as scheming or mean or self-centered as I think they are. Regardless, this very bad habit of expecting the worst in people hasn't been kicked yet.

It's really getting to me now since I've recently assumed a position where the basis of the relationship lies in trust. And - as you may have guessed - my mind isn't helping at all. I really want to solve this problem of mine cause the relationship means everything to me and even though it's a good "skill" to have, I'd rather sacrifice this "skill" in order to keep valuable relationships.

But so far it has been an absolute trial just trying to figure out the best way to solve this problem, largely because I don't know what to attribute it to. Maybe it's the work of my mind, or maybe past experiences that have left me so strongly guarded. Or worse, maybe paranoia.

I guess the whole point of this post is not for me to be able to find a solution but rather an outlet for me. Recently my mind and thoughts have created a wall where no one can penetrate. Or maybe they're just not even trying. Or maybe I should be the one to break down the wall and force my thoughts and feelings upon their ears. Or something. I don't know, I don't know what people want in situations like these.

Anyway, I think I've ranted enough. It's quite uncharacteristic of me to post such long posts nowadays, but I guess I've come to a point where I just need someone (actually in this case someTHING) to listen. And anyway people do change over time and I suppose something's changed in me and I'm more "open" now.

Back to studying geog!
Sent from my BlackBerry Wireless Handheld.

'white lie' is utter nonsense

2011-06-16T01:52:00.007+08:00

Why do people lie when they know that it will hurt the person who's being lied to? And if the person that they're lying to is a person they love? Why would you want to do something like that to someone whom you said you never want to hurt?

I absolutely ABHOR the phrase 'white lie'. Apparently there's a 'black lie' too but I don't understand what they're trying to explain on the forums. My point is there is no such thing as a white, black, blue, red, yellow, green, beige, vanilla, turquoise, (insert any other colour known) lie.

Get this straight, all you people who decide to very intelligently classify your freaking lies into colours: A LIE IS A LIE. There is NO way you can justify a lie for a very ridiculously simple fact: Once your lie is seen through, it will (most of the time) hurt the other party.

Maybe some of us need a re-cap on what a lie does. To be more specific, how an exposed lie can affect somone. To you, your lie only means one thing: The person you're lying to can't take the truth, that's why you're lying. But to the person that you're lying to, your lie is a stab at their pride and self-esteem. Why do you have to lie? Do they not deserve the truth? Are they not good enough for it? And how would you like it if you were kept in the dark from something everyone else knew except you? Not very well at all.

If you lie because you think the other party can't take the truth, YOU are the one who's actually worse off in the situation because you don't want or don't know how to handle it if the other person knew the truth. And you're depriving someone else of the right to know of something they probably should (obviously not for cases like if they're asking about your deep secrets that you want to keep to yourself).

Seriously, a honest friend is a true friend. Would you want your best friend or spouse to lie to you about how you look? Let's say you are out shopping after a bad day and you're contemplating buying a dress, and you think it looks awesome, but it comes with a really heavy price tag. You ask your friend if it's worth it. Your friend probably thinks that it's overpriced and the dress doesn't suit you. Worse still, she's seen an exact remake of it somewhere else cheaper. But - here comes the almighty, noble, righteous white lie - she tells you that the dress is amazing and it is definitely worth it. All because she wants you to be happy on this very bad day that you are having.

With that almighty, noble, righteous white lie of hers, your friend just made you spend money on a dress that's not worth it. When you find out that you've actually busted a lot more money than you should, guess who's gonna have a worse day ahead? You.

There is nothing more that I would thank That Someone Up There for but for a true, honest and loyal friend. A friend who tells me that I look fat in a certain dress, that I'm hanging out with the wrong guy, that I'm in a relationship that I shouldn't be in, or doing things that I shouldn't do.

And by the way, when a girl asks a question repeatedly, you know something's up. So before you jeopardise your relationship, JUST SPEAK THE TRUTH. Because when she finds out, it's only going to get ugly, because you lied not just once, but twice. On top of that, you've just reduced her level of trust in you on the trust-o-meter. She'll be twice as cautious from now on before believing every single word you say.

If you who's reading this is thinking that I'm talking nonsense and that you have gotten away with some lies you have made before, here's what I'm going to tell you: Get away once or twice, or dozen of times, but you will never ever get away with your lies forever. Some day, your habit of lying and cheating is going to disappoint you in ways you've never imagined. Your cowardice in admitting your wrong and facing the consequences will haunt you and prevent you from greater things in life.

The end of rant.

i should be studying

2011-06-08T21:37:00.004+08:00

But here I am, blogging again. Will resume studying tomorrow. Now's the time to S-H-O-P!!!! Missed shopping.

Here's a funny video for you bored geeks:

Anyway I was watching some Miss USA and Miss Teen USA pageants, specifically the 'Final Questions' segment. Duh I'm a girl so why should I really be concerned about the swimsuit walk and etc etc. Plus most of the gowns are really ugly or tacky anyway. If I wanted to see some awesome evening gowns I'd go to People.com.

So anyway I was just wondering like the girls who join the pageants and say that they want to "be a role model" for women and help women if they win the crown and etc etc etc, how do you think you are helping women? It's really puzzling cause I've always thought that the whole point about the pageant is to win, maybe earn some fame, win some really fantastic expensive presents and sponsorships, get to fly all over the world, be the "face" of the country, and all other sorts of extravagant and high crass stuff.

With that, how are you actually helping anyone? You're just like a model for several product companies, with endorsements and what not, chosen among a whole group of other gorgeous women.

And the pageant itself. Yes it promotes "inner" and "outer" beauty with the catwalk, photoshoots, "CIP" and question and answer segment. But seriously. SERIOUSLY. Who really takes the Q&A seriously? On a personal level, I watch the Q&A segment only because I'm looking for entertainment. Sounds mean but I'm just looking for a bit of laughs that's all. Yeah it is very daunting and scary to answer a random question about education, policies, and other controversial topics on live television and I really admire their courage. But when funny answers like the one below comes up, I'm entertained.

So how can anyone say that the Q&A segment is a true representative of their "inner" beauty? "Inner" beauty can refer to a lot of things - character, integrity, intelligence. I don't see how the questions actually serve to bring out any of these.

And maybe it's just a stereotype, I'm not sure, but I've always had the impression that pageant girls are just putting up a front. But I guess you can't blame them either, it's expected of them to be "perfect" and "wholesome". Stupid media and unrealistic expectations.

I also don't understand why some guys like to watch pageants. Sure the ladies are very pretty/hot/cute/have hot legs/toned/boob-bilicious whatever, but they're all so stiff!!!!! So freaking unnatural!!!!! I'd rather go watch some red carpet show and admire Amanda Seyfried. Teeheehee I may have a lesbian crush on her. K just kid.

Here's a pretty photo of her cause I like her:

And another one:

From her new Clé de Peau (some kind of new cosmetic brand) ad campaign!

K byes shall go bathe

59 days to go!

2011-06-08T00:51:00.003+08:00

Recently I've been watching a lot of funny/cute cat videos and posting them on FaceBook. And I realised that most funny/cute animal videos on YouTube are usually of cats!!! Or do I watch too little videos to make such an observation? Anyway it doesn't matter.

Here's one of me in the future:

Ok lazy to upload the other cute/funny videos up here. Just go YouTube and find them yourself. Not very difficult.

I'm having a very hard time trying to think of what to blog about, because I'm not sure if the stuff I want to talk about is too revealing and I also because don't want it to be too boring/safe. I guess that's why I'll never be a good blogger!

Looking forward to the end of this year for one very good reason: NO MORE FRIKKIN' LIFE-CHANGING EXAMS i.e. A LEVELS!!!!!!!

Yah university exams/tests are also important but not so stressful I think. Plus it's like accumulated stuff so it's like you don't have to cram everything at once and you have more chances of getting better results cause there are more tests to make up for the not-so-good results.

Plus 9 FREAKING MONTHS OF HOLIDAYYY

Although I am worried about A levels cause the worst thing that could happen to me would be to get totally average results. Like BBB/B or BBB/C or BBC/B or something along those lines. That would really, really, really, really suck.

K I'm sure no one is really interested to know about the worries of a JC kid. Not very interesting anyway. So here's a *more* (comparatively) interesting story:

One day while we were on the way home and on the expressway, there was this drunk driver in front of us. I could identify that the driver was drunk cause it was quite obvious - he/she kept swerving around the lane and couldn't drive steadily.

It was really scary cause the driver would just suddenly swerve to the right (the curb) and nearly crash and then "sober up" again and save his/her own life. And after a while the car nearly crashed into another car in the next lane!!! It was very, extremely close to crashing. I nearly thought I was going to witness a car accident for the first time in my life so far.

After a while the road was clear and there were no cars in front of the drunk driver's car. So it sped up and we lost sight of it. We were freaking damn nervous and our palms were sweaty. (Ok not so much mine cause I have more "control" over my palms' sweat glands. Hahahaha not like someone else.) For the first time I think, I was really really anxious about the safety of a person who's totally unrelated to me.

And even though I say that I'm not a really religious person, I really prayed hard for the driver to be able to get home safely cause I didn't want some kind of fatal accident to happen. Also cause it would be really saddening if the drunk driver crashed into someone else and he/she survived it but not the poor innocent other-driver.

Moral of the story is do not drink and drive!!! Cheesy and cliche and whatever but you will never know what kind of tragedy you will bring to yourself and others. So don't be a freaking selfish and severely inconsiderate prick and think of others!!!

K end of story. That was my bedtime story to myself. *yawn*

Goodnight

welcome back!

2011-06-02T00:59:00.003+08:00

Hi all, it's been a while. If you're reading this, and you're not the author of this post, good for you! You're reading something new. You're no longer looking at the face of Scotty McCreery.

Speaking of which, I am a freaking prophet. Before you hate me, fine, maybe not a prophet in its strict definition. But I'm probably like an American Idol fortune teller! After all, this is not the first time I've liked a certain certain on the show and he become the winner. ;)

But that's besides the point. In some ways, this blog is my healer. So maybe you would say that the lack of posts was because I had too much smoothness going on in my life, and so I had nothing much to post about. On the contrary, my life has been quite a ride so far, specifically during the period which I did not blog.

It's always the same old. And anyone will notice the stress on my face. (Literally, since I'm unfortunately having a very bad complexion now with all the damned pimples.)

I guess I decided to pop back here for a while because I haven't been really writing anything reflective lately. And writing long, albeit pointless, posts have almost always been therapeutic for me.

Then again, it has been awhile since I've done this, and I must say I've forgot how to open up. So too bad, if you're waiting for some kind of juicy news to feed your vulturous brain. You will have to wait. In the mean time, I think I might pop by a little more often. If that happens, you'll see why.

♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

2011-03-17T23:12:00.001+08:00

This is Scott McCreery. He sings country. He plays baseball. He lives in a small town.

i.e. HE'S MY LUV Y'ALL.

Things to do

2011-03-13T16:53:00.001+08:00

- Revenger's Tragedy essay
- GP essayssssss

Ok ok I can do this!!!!!

:) :( :@ :'(

2011-03-08T17:07:00.002+08:00

Isn't it wonderful when your weeks filled with a mixture of emotions? I'm talking the strong, tear-welling, got-that-choking-feeling-in-my-throat kind. It makes me feel alive in ways no other form of activity could. And only the people/events/things that matter (to me) can do just that.

SIIIIIGggghhhHHHH

2 more papers to go then it's a week of temporary liberation.

I need to stop letting myself go like that. It's so destructive.

all the colours of the rainbow

2011-03-07T20:17:00.003+08:00

I remember owning a kaleidoscope when I was young. It was at my old house at Street 42. It would sit quietly on the edge of the bookshelf, quite abandoned and sad-looking I should say. Most of the time, the only time it had the most amount of activity was when we topple it on accident while trying to get hold of a book behind it.

It was made of paper with lots of random, colourful prints. Odd prints with colours that I vaguely remember. Orange, yellow, maybe green, definitely some kind of red.

I kind of miss that kaleidoscope now.

WISH I HAD IT FOR THE 11 MAY!!!!! HAHAHAHAHA SARA BAREILLES SO EXCITEDDDD

...Because we all love sudden outbursts of joy and anti-climax.

!!!!!!!

2011-02-25T17:39:00.000+08:00

someone buy me this!!!

2011-02-25T14:45:00.003+08:00

I WISH I had this when I was a kid. It looks so fun!! And yet difficult at the same time because of how delicate these things are.

If you don't know what these are, watch this video:

If you want to watch more, go to this RRCherryPie person's channel and click on the video links that have the words "Popin' Cookin'". Those are the ones that are edible (made of jelly). The other video links on the same channel like the ones with the word "Konapun" are just plain toys which are non-edible and just for aesthetic/play purposes.

I feel like a Popin' Cookin' guru now. Wahahahaha

When I watched the part where the person made the fish eggs, I literally laughed out loud cause it was so amusing!!!!!! I LOVE IT. Apparently some blogshop in Singapore is selling Popin' Cookin' products at SGD8.50 each. So tempted!!!! But so lazy. Hahahaha.

Plus I've watched like some angmohs try to make the jelly stuff and they kinda fail. Maybe just watching this RRCherrypie person do it is better. She (I know it's a she cause she has painted nails and hands of a woman!) is pro at it anyway. Heh.

Oh yeah didn't go to school today. I need a *stronger* immune system.

i love it when you read to me

2011-02-20T13:08:00.002+08:00

Confession before you think I'm an "indie poser" (whatever that means): I have never heard of the original song Book Of Love before, the name Peter Gabriel, nor the band Magnetic Fields. All these names are so strange and unfamiliar to me. But the name Nataly Dawn makes me happy!!!!

I just subscribed to her. I don't normally subscribe to anything on YouTube by the way!

After having my BlackBerry, I'm so used to typing to get a fullstop. I'm doing it now on the computer. Damnnnn.

All you BlackBerry-iPhone converts, I HATE YOU!!!! I just got my BB and it'd be nice to have more people on my BBM contact list. Ask for my BB pin if you're willing. :p

amazing feat

2011-02-07T09:01:00.002+08:00

Didn't sleep the entire night last night and I am quite wide awake now. Wonder what is wrong with me but I shall not go to school in case I fall asleep while carrying yong tau foo and carelessly scald myself and burn my uniform.

Think I have insomnia... Think I have a penchant for exaggerating things.

you know exactly

2011-01-31T22:34:00.003+08:00

In about 25 minutes from now I'm going to be getting ready for bed. Tomorrow's Tiring Tuesday but I'm going to be an annoying optimistic little kid and say that I will brave through the day.

Green peas
Movie voice
Olive green T-shirt
Clumsiness
Air drums
Beat boxing
iPhone
Wordsearch
Brown shoes
Oakley
Cats
Perpetual tiredness (which - i must emphasise - I love and hate)

busybusy

2011-01-20T23:36:00.004+08:00

This busy week is gonna be ovvverr!! And thank goodness for today, cause it just saved me from nearly losing my sanity.

Wow I just noticed this while pasting the embed code. YouTube just changed their encoding! It's much shorter now. Ok ya that's all that I notice because I'm not a HTML person.

Here are the lyrics to this awesome song:

Baby, I'm stuck in the middle and I don't know why
Find the words you sing to me
Sweeter than the words of the bird in the sky
Oh, the days you came around
I feel so good for me
I can take most anything
'Cause what you bring

I find it magical (hey)
I feel like I'm loving you in 1963 (hey)
Flowers in my hair (hey)
Little bitty hearts upon my cheek
Baby, you'll be on my mind
'till I kiss you next time

Baby, come on, take a ride in my little blue bug
Keep the windows down
Don't forget to celebrate the radio's up
Oh, the way you hold my hand
There is no other way
We could take a thousand walks
And laugh all day

I find it magical (hey)
I feel like I'm loving you in 1963 (hey)
Flowers in my hair (hey)
Little bitty hearts upon my cheek
Baby, you'll be on my mind
'till I kiss you next time

I find it magical (hey)
I feel like I'm loving you in 1963 (hey)
Flowers in my hair (hey)
Little bitty hearts upon my cheek
Baby, you'll be on my mind
'till I kiss you next time

Magical (hey)
I feel like I'm loving you in 1963 (hey)
Flowers in my hair (hey)
Little bitty hearts upon my cheek
Baby, you'll be on my mind
'till I kiss you next time

Hey, hey, I find it magical (hey)
Hey, hey, I feel like I'm loving you in 1963 (hey)
Hey, hey, I got flowers in my hair (hey)
Hey, hey, little bitty hearts upon my cheek...

just for fun

2011-01-16T23:03:00.004+08:00

Things I (have swore to) never wear:
1) Leggings - tights that end halfway around your calf or ankle. I shall not say anything mean in case anyone who's reading this now absolutely lovesss leggings. Everyone, meet Stockings.

2) Anything that has glitter on it - should be a rule for every girl out there in my opinion. Sequins won't get onto your face if your rub your hands on your clothes.

3) Bubble dresses - why is anyone still wearing them I still cannot fathom. Ok some are nice but those are the RARE exceptions.

4) Shorts that have hems like bubble dresses - seriously WTF (forgive me I am quite angsty now)

Seriously. These things exist.

5) Gladiators. They look good on most people but I just can't bring myself to.

6) Crocs. Except the mary-jane ones - they're cute!

Ok can't think of any more.

daily therapy

2011-01-11T23:58:00.004+08:00

Okay now that school has started, my life feels like it's back on track. I sleep better at night (although it's mainly because I wake up at absurd hours in the morning), I eat more, talk more, better moods etc. I think what I needed was just a direction; albeit a forced one. And in this case a forced direction towards school and everything it entails.

CAN'T FRIKKIN WAIT FOR THE FRIKKIN WEEKEND. At least tomorrow's a no-lesson day. Slack time!!!!

Love love.

before the pill takes effect

2011-01-10T00:49:00.005+08:00

I decided to blog a short post before the flu pill that I just popped takes its effect on me. It was necessary because I had to make sure that I get good sleep today to prep me for school.

Tomorrow's the start of the year. The year where I hone my balancing skills - figuratively.

Have to balance between work, play, relationships - everything basically. I had to balance all of those last year too but this year's gonna be some kind of hardcore. My expectations for this year are high mostly because I want to be disappointed. Chances are that if I expect a lot of shit this year, usually reality won't satisfy, and that's exactly what I want. To be disappointed but in a good way. I'm not sure if that makes sense for you though.

I got my kitty pencil case with me and that will be my motivation for this year. Pretty stationery keep me going in school. At least when I feel like the world around me is ugly and disappointing, there are still my pretty kitties to look at and feel like the world isn't that bad after all.

I think I'm blogging some kind of weird stuff and I'd like to blame it on the flu pill that's making me quite drowsy now.

My (realistic) resolution for this year: Consistency.

As a short note to add on to the previous post, I am feeling much better now (if anyone wanted to know). Apparently talking/speaking your mind releases bottled up emotions. I know that actually. I just find it hard to execute it. But I made a promise to try from now on. Woopeedo!

OK time to sleep, it's 1.01AM and the pill's taking it's full effect. Goodnight lovelies. xx

one question

2011-01-07T01:35:00.005+08:00

Has anyone of you - if anyone is reading this - felt so inferior and small because you see someone else (or worse, people around you) doing so awesome in the things you wanted to do so much so well that you almost thought you were going into depression? And actually got out of it and regained your confidence? Cause if you have, please let me know how you got out of it. I'm dying to find a solution.

Ok I might be kidding about the depression part. Hehe.

By the way, the "things" include looks, talent (e.g. singing, dancing, photography whatever), personality (admit it, some personalities are just more well-liked than others). How do you convince yourself that you are better than the rest when you are actually not?! It's actually pretty illogical.

But seriously, I absolutely hate how my mind works right now because all I see in that mirror is a girl who is overly-sensitive, attention-seeking, obsessive and selfish. Well 'needy' just summarises all of that actually.

I miss the girl who used to be confident, assured of her self-worth and never ever reliant on anyone for anything but herself. Where is she? Please come back soon. Maybe it'd take a few more bunch of bananas for her to come back. And for this stupid menstruation/pms thing to end.

Now I know: when people say things like "If you want to be happy, just be!" - it's not as easy as it sounds. The next time someone tells me that, SCREW YOU. Just kidding again. Hehe.

Hmm. I find myself very intriguing sometimes. I cannot make out if this blog post is supposed to be a depressing one or a comedic one. I hope it sounds like a bit of both to any person reading.

I watched Lily and Marshall get married today. :') Lily is (almost - have to take into account those girls who don't want to get married) every girl's dream.

Ok 1st post of the year.

2011-01-01T15:27:00.001+08:00

Ok bye.

I KID. 2011 is gonna be awesome cause if I say so it's gonna be so.

heck i'm gonna post anyway

2010-12-27T14:27:00.003+08:00

This blog shall be kept alive for another 10 years so that my kids have something to read about their mother in the future. Hahahhahahaha

Shall not blog about Christmas 'cause it's overdone and has turned stale. I can't wait to moooove!1!!!!! MUST-HAVES IN THE NEW CRIB INCLUDE:

- Huge ass Christmas tree (i'd like it to be synthetic. Real x'mas trees are necessary and expensive and *bad* for the environment.)

- Shelves!!!! I have a sudden obsession for shelves and cupboards. Maybe it's cause of my disgust for clutter. Visible clutter to be exact. Clutter which cannot be seen - not counted! A shelf for my cameras and another shelf for books and another shelf for books meant for my kids in the future. Hahahahha

- Pretty lights. Was trying to look for them in Daiso ($2 only) but failed la. Who sells lights for only $2? I am delusional.

- Mini bar. I meant fridge bar!! What were you thinking. No more walks to the kitchen just to get water or whatever. So convenient. Everyone should have one in their room.

- Actually I really want full length windows in my room but......... nvm.

- And all other conventional stuff necessary for a proper bedroom to function, i.e. bed, wardrobe, mirror etc. OH and a full length mirror. Every girl needs one.

Wow today is already Monday. Next week will be January. Awesome. 2011 is coming. Can you smell the dread in the air??

yo

2010-12-22T01:34:00.003+08:00

lol I'm beginning to think that the only hits that my blog gets are from my own computer.

Crystal Bowersox is going country!!!!!!!

2010-12-21T12:06:00.000+08:00

so are these!!!!

2010-12-21T00:20:00.001+08:00

LEATHERETTE ZIGZAGGING OXFORD FLATS

Shopping tomorrow!!!!!! Hope and pray that I'll find these stuff online in stores!!!!!! Please please please please please please please please!!!!

this is pretty

2010-12-20T23:54:00.000+08:00

LACE INSERT ROMPER

junior college relationships

2010-12-20T19:12:00.004+08:00

Geography: Oh I love you so much but sometimes you can be quite a burden with all your so-called theories on life. And I wish we didn't have so many dates to remember.

Literature: I want you but you're out of my league.

Econs: Please go away.

Math: No matter how hard I try to read your mind, sometimes I just can't get through to you. Sometimes.

BEST BOYBAND OF THE 90'S

2010-12-18T21:08:00.000+08:00

Ahhhhhhhh :)

sigh

2010-12-18T17:43:00.001+08:00

Credits

The (almost) impossible love.

this is awesome

2010-12-16T23:43:00.000+08:00

i am sorry..

2010-12-12T14:32:00.003+08:00

...to my dear cameras whom I have very meanly neglected!!!

I have yet to put together my first paper pinhole camera (really excited for this one so I need to reserve a special day to make it ok! That's my very valid excuse.), send a 120 roll for developing - of which, I have to search up places which actually develop 120 film. AND I have YET to buy special format batteries for the Minolta. BAH I am a lazy creature.

This week was a roller-coaster ride. A mean one. Usually roller-coaster rides are thrilling and exciting but this one was not. It was just plain annoying and painful to sit in. I'm glad it's over!!!! :) Being a girl can be such a chore sometimes, just imagine the large hormonal changes you have to go through every month. Everyone will just think you're a demanding bitch who needs to be hung.

I need to go New Zealand. I need the green patches, the stupid noisy timid sheep and the low blue skies to relax me!!!! I need a Jay Jay's fix too.

ariel VS belle

2010-12-12T01:27:00.011+08:00

Wait wait wait. Just to let you know, obviously Ariel will win in this post cause I am for-Ariel. Nyahahaha.

Okokok I admit that Belle is indeed prettier. Adding on to the fact that she's French, reads (smart girls are always preferred. Fact.), and is a filial daughter. Bla bla bla!!!!

-____- I cannot find any ugly photos of Belle on Google Images. All her pictures all damn glam and pretty. Unlike Ariel, I am sad to say.

BUT!!!!! 1) Ariel has red hair i.e. she's a non-conformist although that's not really in her control but that's an extra point over Belle so I'm including it anyway.

2) She's ambitious?? To want legs is like me wanting to fly. Impossible but she still thinks of it anyway.

3) In terms of looks Ariel's more realistic. Belle is like the impossible beauty. Like really one in a billion. I know I am indirectly complimenting Belle but it's always better to be realistic.

Here I deliberately chose a picture of them where Ariel is prettier than Belle hehehehe so I can support my argument better.

4) ARIEL CAN SING DAMN WELL. Need I say more?

One of my favourite Disney songs! The other one is Colours of the Wind.

5) Ariel is 16, i.e. defiant, rebellious etc etc all those things we can relate to.

6) She has good taste cause she thinks Eric is handsome. Hahahahahaha

Btw I think Eric is the best Disney prince ever. Those blue eyes!!! And he plays a musical instrument and owns a dog. And he is not snobbish at all. BEST PRINCE.

7) She makes even the most plain and perhaps boring dress look good. Maybe it's the red hair. Example dress:

Anyway this picture is funny so I had to upload it. Hahahahaha her dress is recycled from other Disney princesses' dresses. I never realised before!!!! Which is why she is so special. A-ha new argument.

K I am lazy to think of more reasons why Ariel > Belle. So here's Pocahontas. Also my favourite Disney princess!!!

Ok la actually I quite like John Smith too. Just that he has long hair. If he gets a haircut, MAYBE he'll surpass Eric. Maybe.

In conclusion, Ariel wins!!!!!! Hahahahahaha I know it's damn childish and I am wasting my time here but I need to prove a point. An important point. Other people won't understand!!

Fine. In order to make myself seem less biased and rational in my argument, here's an unglam picture of Ariel (sigh):

Slutty picture of Ariel (sigh sigh sigh):

Ariel still owns!!!!!!

escapism

2010-12-10T01:12:00.004+08:00

Come away with me in the night
Come away with me
And I will write you a song

Come away with me on a bus
Come away where they can't tempt us
With their lies

I want to walk with you
On a cloudy day
In fields where the yellow grass grows knee-high
So won't you try to come

Come away with me and we'll kiss
On a mountaintop
Come away with me
And I'll never stop loving you

And I want to wake up with the rain
Falling on a tin roof
While I'm safe there in your arms
So all I ask is for you
To come away with me in the night
Come away with me

So come away with me, please?

BACK FROM TAIWANNN

2010-12-08T15:33:00.000+08:00

Read the title.

what are the options left?

2010-11-30T00:29:00.004+08:00

Tried (And failed obviously):
1) That CD Shop
2) HMV
3) Amazon (Ya I am that desperate ok. I have NEVER went into Amazon to look for digital downloads before, but the one time that I had to try, I got rejected cause it's restricted to US states.)

Hopes:
1) Gramophone (Honestly, not much hope. But no harm trying anyway...)
2) iTunes?

I know I can order CDs online for shipping but not in time for Taiwan!!!!! Shall continue hunting. This supersedes packing. I know my priorities. This is more important ok!!!!

when you're getting to the end of a hard day

2010-11-29T01:21:00.002+08:00

PS: I'd grow mangoes all over your garden if you had one.

a confession + a promise

2010-11-29T00:50:00.006+08:00

[NB: I'm listening to Joshua Radin's debut album while typing all these so... ... Maybe that would explain for the melancholy tone.]

Sometimes I do look at photos and think, "Maybe I should start being like her. Because that looks cool.", or even put myself down because I know I can't be like that.

I can't stand the idea of having fun in another person's perception of it. I can't stand having to dress like I'm a model on the runway every time I go out, or telling that person in the mirror she needs to slap on some make-up in order to feel good about herself. All these because I like my T-shirts and casual (perhaps too casual sometimes) shorts. Nor can I stand having to behave a certain way in order to feel accepted or liked. (But of course, which girl can safely say that they have NEVER done those before?)

No, of course I don't like to feel ugly - I'm a girl! But I like to feel good while being comfortable. My definition of comfortable. My definition of what's pretty.

And of course I'm not saying that my way is the way. It will never be the way. I'm just saying we should never try to be someone else just because that is what most people agree with.

So this I promise to myself: If I'm not comfortable with doing something or acting some way, I won't do it. Even if the people around me are totally fine with it. Even if I may feel upset - even the slightest way - that everyone is doing it but not me.

I tried to make this promise to myself before. And failed of course. But that's not the point. The point is that I'm trying to make the same promise again even though I failed. That makes more sense. I'm more certain I'll be able to keep this promise for a much longer time, because I know there are people (or persons, to be exact) who have already accepted me WHOLLY for who I am. Every possible flaw, every possible bad habit.

These people are so important to me. Let me tell you this. I can count them with one hand - one hand alone. Does that seem little to you? Nevertheless, it's the world to me. They give me strength; more strength than a thousand or a million acquaintances.

*Reads the entire post from start* OK. I so need chocolate right now.

every word you say i think i should write down

2010-11-28T14:04:00.003+08:00

The fact that it is a Dear John OST + Joshua Radin sang it (together with Schuyler Fisk *mental note to check her out*) makes me so excited!!!!

Anyway Dear John sucked the last time I caught it. Sadly. But I still love Amanda Seyfried!!! She's so pretty I think I might be attracted to her. Like how I'm attracted to the FOX model. Hahahahahha

I just googled the FOX model and she's Israeli!! Name is Bar Refaeli.

Ok this is getting weird. Hahahahhaa

3RD POST

2010-11-24T00:13:00.003+08:00

BECAUSE I AM BORED OUT OF MY WITS.

BORED BORED BORED

I already played BurgerShop 2, my DS, Bejeweled Blitz (you know it's always so difficult for me to type "Bejeweled" fast!! It drastically slows down my typing momentum. -_-) AND SkyBurger. Sigh I am such a geek.

Tomorrow tomorrow tomorrow can't wait for tomorrow it's gonna be an interesting day!!

OK I go play Burger Shop on iPhone now. Not the BurgerShop 2 prequel BurgerShop!!! It's a fake/faux/pretend Burger Shop. But fun nevertheless. I shall play then sleep.

2nd post again

2010-11-23T19:27:00.003+08:00

Because I decided not to torture my followers on Twitter with my potentially annoying tweets cause I'm in the midst of waiting. Hahahaha

By the way, Twitter is not MSN!!!!! Please try not to have Twitter conversations if they're irrelevant.

Anyway, so I'm waiting for Crystal + Avis to come and pick me for dinner!!! Actually I'm not that hungry... Just want to get out quite bad. And probably get some ice-cream. Been craving for Island Creamery for the longest time. Haven't been there since...almost half a year ago??

Haven't been posting videos... So here's one since it's a month and 2 days to Christmas:

PS: Life is good. :)

i shouldn't be watching the AMAs

2010-11-23T00:55:00.002+08:00

I should be sleeping instead!!! Christina Aguilera and Usher's performances were disappointing. Unfortunately I managed to catch Ke$ha perform and viola! That lucky girl has a team of like 6 (or more?) dancers PLUS 2 back-up singers. I am officially depressed.

And I don't think I need to talk about how Justin Bieber just got nominated for almost all the categories he's eligible for. And those he won. Never mind... I'll just continue watching Sara Bareilles perform live on YouTube.

(PS I have to admit his dedication to Usher was sweet though!!! Everyone likes humble artists.)

Backstreet Boys are on now with another millennium boy band. Speaking of boy bands I miss Westlife. Sweet memories!!!!! I remember playing Jazz Jackrabbit 2 with the Sister while listening and singing along to Queen Of My Heart. :')

Ok at least Play On (Carrie Underwood) won Favourite Country Album! :)

pre-Taiwan

2010-11-21T23:07:00.004+08:00

Okay so I just messed up my wardrobe and bed cause I was looking for stuff to wear to Taiwan.

Yes I am going to Taiwan again in 9 days. An explanation for the hesitant tone would be that I have been to Taiwan before with the Mother and the Sister and it wasn't even satisfactory. The only good part about that trip would be the three of us bitching about our fellow tour group mates and having a good laugh about it hahahahahaaha.

Then again, that might be because it was a tour. We all know how tours suck. Boycott tours!!!!!! If you're going to some obscure place like Japan with a local language that's not English, learn the language and then go there. Helps you with understanding the culture better as well. A-ha. That's exactly what I'm gonna do!!!

So yup I am going to Taiwan and I am honestly quite excited this time round. I'm giving Taiwan a chance to redeem itself in my eyes. This time, with awesome company - my class!!!! It's gonna be a riot hehehe.

Wonder why I'm so word-talkative today. Anyway, if anyone's reading this, PLEASE READ THIS BOOK:

It is an awesome children's book. Read it OR ELSE. I just bought it from Kinokuniya today ($6 only!!) and gosh that place brings me so much dramamama.

I'm starting to fall in love with children's books. But no, nothing wrong with that. Nothing wrong at all. :)

sent at 11.05am

2010-11-18T12:09:00.003+08:00

ANNNND it's done!! I am officially. A. Frikkin. Free. Man.

Ok there's still another one but that's...less...important than this one. Actually I know what I submitted wasn't my best effort but never mind.

Now it's time to enjoy the holidayssssss! :) :) :)

this better be worth it

2010-11-15T22:32:00.003+08:00

Ok. Didn't go for the camp in the end. End of story.

End of story because I need to do work!!!! Bye y'all go find some other page to entertain yourself. *scampers off*

ok last one

2010-11-12T19:36:00.000+08:00

next stop: vegas please

2010-11-12T19:28:00.000+08:00

we had OP today

2010-11-12T18:54:00.003+08:00

PW and I have officially broken up!!!!!! I am feeling so so SO liberated right now. Although to burst that bubble, I still have more deadlines to meet.

Camp tomorrow, i.e., no Internet, which means no FaceBook + Twitter + YouTube + everything else.

Actually none of those matters to me. I am most bothered by the fact that I won't be allowed to have my phone with me. Feel free to judge and/or debate about how reliant I am on my phone if that will allow me to use my phone during the camp. My phone and I have a really tight relationship. Everywhere I go, my phone goes!!! That includes sleeping, peeing, eating, everything and everywhere ok.

Sigh. :(

See you guys again in 4 days. Or maybe not. Think I'll be too busy rushing to meet another deadline when I get back.

so...

2010-11-09T01:03:00.002+08:00

SOMEONE SAID I SOUND...(what was that word again??? Ok I forgot)...Angry? Sad? Negative?? You get the point.

You guys know I'm not like that!!!! - I am probably the happiest chirpiest person you know hohoho. Ok fine maybe 'crazy' fits the description more precisely.

I realise I tweeted 12 times today. I wonder what accounts for such behavior so unexpected from me. Someone who made a vow never to create a Twitter account to morph into such a being whose voice is restricted by 120 characters for each update.

Here's an update worth to be happy about!!! I am d-o-n-e with I&R. In spite of it being draft number 1, it's good enough that I forced my lazy ass to get started on it. :)

For you poly people, it's okay. You're probably too busy playing Robot Unicorn Attack on FaceBook to bother about what I'm talking about. (Blame Brandon. He said it's a poly thing. Ooooo~ shivers down my spine. Am I missing out on something? Hahahaha)

OK time to put my OP script onto cue cards for my own benefit. Good luck you guyssss happy holidays :)

Last reminder: I AM happy ok!!!! There always seems to be something to smile about everyday. :)

deadlines AGAIN

2010-11-06T14:25:00.003+08:00

Trying to meet deadlines and handing up almost-perfect work kinda freaks me out sometimes. Procrastination is inherent in me okay?! Coupled with my perfectionist attitude, it's not surprising I often stress myself out for nothing.

1) 1000 word essay to complete. + research and all the shit omg like in 1+ week

2) OP this Friday omg. Like for real

3) 3 frikkin proposals to write by some time in December. (Actually. I kinda know that my chances of getting it is like near to zilch. But I shall try anyway. Just to appease myself so that I know I did try. I gave it a shot but my incapability failed me. Just to convince myself to give the thought up.)

THIS is enough to drive me nuts. When is my holiday gonna start????? I have a feeling it's not going to.

Next year....is gonna be hell.........(infinite amount of full-stops floating away)

jump start my kaleidoscope heart

2010-11-05T13:27:00.000+08:00

jessie james

2010-10-31T17:16:00.003+08:00

Ignore the back up vocals they're so distracting!!! I'm impressed by her though!!!!! She deserves more imo. All her MVs are selling sex, it's so sad. With her voice, she doesn't have to, but I guess it's a different thing if she needs to.

my life is eventful

2010-10-28T01:54:00.002+08:00

First it was promos, and now there's PW. Thank God I don't have to take Chinese. Thank you those who convinced me not to drop Higher Chinese back then. You have saved my life!!!! You are indeed wise.

Let's see.

1) Almost done with Harry Potter marathon!!!
2) Just finished season 1 of How I Met Your Mother - Ok I'm slow I know. At least I'm starting on something.
3) I still haven't finished shopping for Taiwan yet!
4) The Diana is itching for the sun.

Not bad! I'm actually getting some stuff done. Hahaha

By the way, have I told you how much I love Tim Burton????? CLICK CLICK CLICK

Oh yeah I should rrrrreally be asleep now. It's 2.02AM. Good job.

one more!!!!

2010-10-23T01:17:00.003+08:00

Will blog in full on a later date. Time for How I Met Your Mother now!!!

bye bye sadness, hello mellow

2010-10-19T14:17:00.001+08:00

it's back to school

2010-10-18T22:39:00.003+08:00

Heyaaaaa back to school always (kinda) sucks. Somehow.

The "holidays" (or rather a more appropriate word for it would be "break"?) seemed really long for some reason. Longer than any other holiday I've experienced throughout the year so far. Consequently, the best holiday ever. Most gratifying and satisfying.

BRB

you ask for forgiveness

2010-10-18T00:03:00.003+08:00

I don't know about you (if you're even listening to this song right now), but when I first heard this song it spoke to me just like that. It may not be what the song is really about or the exact message the songwriter is aiming to convey, but this song is so personal to me. It literally speaks to me.

It's not a world crisis. Nor is it like what you see on drama serials on the TV. It's really simple and in fact it's an insignificant problem in the eyes of many others. But it's okay - it doesn't matter because no one will truly understand how it feels like unless you're me. And I'm not even saying that in spite.

I know. I really hate to drown in self-pity especially with songs like this one. Just let me get away with this for once.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA

2010-10-10T01:50:00.002+08:00

Eliz posted this and I just had to blog it!!! It's too good!!!!!

HAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA

list of recent memories

2010-10-10T01:02:00.005+08:00

1) Surprise white chocolate mocha, takeaway. Although it was literally really sweet that day!! I wonder why.

2) Lonnnng car ride all over S'pore I'll never forget.

3) Apple dipperssss = yum

4) Business deal. Hahahahahaha

5) 100 Miles From Memphis.

6) Combing the entire West Coast Park. Wahaha.

7) Classic. It was a "classic" moment anyway. Hahahaha

8) Out for 12 hrs straight

9) Looking out for animals in the dark

10) FOOOOOOD

Soon there'll be more to add to this list. Much much more!!!! Wait for it.

12 hours

2010-10-09T02:32:00.004+08:00

1) The Mint Museum of Toys together with Diana!!! Our monumental first trip out together. But this one will just be a test first, since museum lighting sucksballs (never thought I would use this word hahaha) and I don't really know if 8-9 seconds of exposure were enough for properly exposed photos. Plus there were moments when I forgot to wind after taking a photo so I think I (accidentally) got some multiple exposure shots, though it may not be a bad thing. We'll see!!!! I love anticipating. Exactly why I like film.

2) Dinner with the Schmucks. Super mega ultra hilarious!!!! If The Other Guys are good, this one must be fantastic.

3) FOOD AND MORE FOOD. Yummy.

4) Irrelevant to what I'm on now, but I just found $7.95!!!!! All dusty coins wrapped in commonwealth foolscap from zee ol' days. Must be from one of those times when I was collecting money for class or something like that. Good thing no one will remember now. Hahahahahaha k la I'm nice so I'll share the money k with some lucky commonwealth people. Higher chance of "returning" the money to these people.

5) I'm gonna set up my photo wall soon. SOON OK. Since promos are finally over so I have no excuse. I've been procrastinating cause I thought since we're gonna move soon why waste the effort. But I cannot stand it already. I need to create some kind of space!!!!!! And when we move, I'll just tear it down and put it up again. By then, I'd probably have new ideas of how I would want it to be anyway.

6) TIE-DYE PROJECT STILL NOT FULFILLED YET LEH. Soon-ish.

7) Ok this is turning into a random list like it always does.

8) ^_^ --> gay emoticon. I need to reduce my use of such gayness. Although I know some people will say that I already am....

9) SLEEP TIMEEEE goodnight world i pray you all sleep happy and wake up happy and stay happy too.

10) OH YEAH and I finished Have A Little Faith by Mitch Albom today!!! Now I can finally start on other books. By the way, I don't get it when people criticise his books, saying that his books are for "amateur" readers. That's nonsense. I'd read children's books even if they were the only books available for me. So ya if you think your intellectual and fiction crime or mystery books are damn great and all holier-than-thou, ....i don't know what will happen la. Just don't say such things in front of me or wherever I can see/hear you thanks!!!

11) Last thing: I can't wait to move!!!! Then act interior designer and do up my room again!!! Exciting. I will include a ginormous shelf where I can keep all my books (like my baby World Press Photo 10) and cameras and albums. It'd be called "The Forbidden Shelf", for reason(s) I can't think of. Sounds cool enough though.

12) Read point no. 9.

PS: Screw the bad grammar and syntax. I'm tired, okay?!

2010-10-06T09:41:00.002+08:00

Is it me or is she literally glowing with happiness????

just like driving on an open highway

2010-10-05T10:23:00.002+08:00

Country again. Hehe. IM A NEW FAN.

once again

2010-10-02T01:40:00.002+08:00

things to do after promos

2010-10-01T02:48:00.003+08:00

1) Beach
2) ROBERT DOWNEY JR MOVIE MARATHON
3) Harry Potter marathon!!!!! Before Deathly Hallows
4) And all other movies I missed
5) Slack
6) 313 I miss you.
7) Hang out with Diana. ^_^ Diana F+ (the camera) i mean. hehe
8) Minolta too she's probably feeling reeeally neglected :(
9) BURN FATS I GAINED FROM EATING EXCESSIVELY WHILE STUDYING******

(****** marks 'very important thing-to-do')

OK brain not working already I've been doing too much math!!! Fizzy dizzy brain

i am old

2010-09-24T01:27:00.002+08:00

Hehehehehehehe I am giggly now!!!!!

guess what's happening next next week?

2010-09-21T00:38:00.002+08:00

PRO-.....wait for it......PROMOS. Hahaha I love Barney.

Aren't we all so excited? I am!!! Excited about what I'm gonna do after promos. And yup one of them is a How I Met Your Mother marathon. Side note: I'm so prepared to screw up Math and Econs.

Can't wait for an acoustic cover to come out for this one. Hehe.

O. M. G.

2010-09-19T21:27:00.002+08:00

On Monday April 12, 2010 Simple Times was released in the UK. On the same date, at a show at the O2 Academy Birmingham, Radin announced he had completed the final track of his third album,The Rock and the Tide. The album is set to be released October 12, 2010.

Source

People like him (together with Jack Johnson, Colbie Calliat, Katy Perry and Taylor Swift) make me wanna blow the dust off my classical guitar. So that I can sell it off and get an acoustic one!!!!!!!

the 'little sister'

2010-09-18T20:31:00.001+08:00

I remember feeling like this. I'm probably not tomboy-ish, but you get the drift.

different

2010-09-11T13:24:00.002+08:00

After constantly having notoriously sweet strawberry cake for a while now, it's a really nice feeling to switch back to the classic chocolate cake.

It's not too sweet, nor too clumpy. And unlike the strawberry cake, it's not pretentious nor does it put on bright colours (you know, pink) just to attract attention. It sits there in the fridge, calm and cool. It waits for the right one to pass by.

Everyone loves chocolate cake, but the same can't really be said for the strawberry counterpart.

I don't usually post Taylor Swift (I think) but here goes. Ignore the fake MV. Hahaha

happy stuff

2010-09-08T02:42:00.004+08:00

1) Little things!!!!! Because a lot of little things = a lot of happy!

2) Food. When I'm hungry I don't like to talk. Or smile. Or laugh. I get grumpy like a frump. OK I just checked - 'frump' is a real word!!! Frump - [noun] an unattractive woman who wears dowdy old-fashioned clothes. From the mac dictionary.

3) People

4) Smiles. I love it especially when strangers smile at me. Not in the weird/psycho way of course.

I know that it's late and I should be sleeping, but I'm not having trouble sleeping, but I am in a dilemma now.

Could it be I'm suffering / Because I'll never give in

heaven has been away too long

2010-09-07T00:16:00.003+08:00

I want to feel like I'm singing Like A Star. That feeling is like at the top yo. Nothing can fight it. Yup, that's how I want to feel.

It's not a celebratory "Oh yeah I got this guy!!!!" or a "You're my everything" kind of bullshit. It's just plain, simple and complete. Not forgetting emotionally stable.

I think I'm numb. I need to feel like it's the first time. Should I open up to you?

like a star

2010-09-06T00:15:00.000+08:00

september holidays

2010-09-05T20:32:00.004+08:00

Nooooo we're inching closer to promos!! I can't believe how fast time flies. After promos, I'm gonna be year 2 - ie 18 years old!!!!!!!! I AM NOT THAT OLD. Or at least, I don't feel that old.

It's really make or break man. Can you feel the stress??? Well maybe it's just me stressing myself out, but this is really more than just promoting. It's a lot more than that.

Actually I can already predict the outcome. I'll probably won't get what I want, because I'm not working super duper hard for it. I'm just working... harder than average? If my perception of average is accurate. And I'm guessing that's actually not enough. Ok I'm not whining la, I'm just sharing some thoughts. Mooooving on!

The most most most exciting news in my life now: DIANA F+ joins the family!!!! Albeit a very small and pathetic one.

Ahhhh :) Sweet momma got it for me as an advance present!!! Love it. Although it's not some Leica or vintage film, it's good enough to make me really really happy.

You know what I would really like now? A car ride with no destination, listening to Jack Johnson on full blast. No words, just whoever, good music and the wind. That would be the life.

while waiting...

2010-09-02T13:42:00.004+08:00

1 Someone like you needs to realise how awesome you actually are.

2 Someone like you needs to know when to stop. Seriously.

3 Someone like you needs to be more comfortable in your own skin. You look great so don't bother what other people think.

I'm waiting for sissie to get ready to go out to eat and this suddenly came into my head. Three random people whom I have no guts to say these things to. Maybe one day I'll get the courage to!

oh no

2010-08-29T00:39:00.003+08:00

Okay it has been some time since I updated so time to wipe off the dust!

So my momma has been trying to convince me into law, partially because she's now familiar with how much a lawyer earns. It's obvious that lawyers earn a lot, but a few hundred bucks from just a phone call?! Seriously. That's hardcore, but cool.

But heck I'm not gonna do law!!! Or at least for now, that's not what I'm thinking of doing in the future.

In relation to the video - haha honestly I didn't know that Jessie James....she looks good.

TGIF

2010-08-21T16:41:00.002+08:00

Can't wait for next Friday.

Then again, the passing of each week amounts to a closer Promos. :/

14 friends on my mind now

2010-08-16T22:25:00.009+08:00

Friend #1: You've been a great source of support to me, although you might not know it. You never say what you mean and mean what you say, but I most of the time I can read your mind so that's okay. You're probably all that I needed, but we crossed the mark long ago and can't go further. Pity? None of it. I'm sad that you have someone else on your mind now though. That being said, not that I ever was. Glad to say that I love you as a friend. (everyone can say, "Awwww!!!!" now.)

Friend #2: YOU MESS WITH MY MIND. But I guess that's what keeps me coming back for more. You're a really, really nice person though. Anyone would be blessed. Can't say anything more.

Friend #3: Always the angel of the crowd. :)

Friend #4: We're totally different, with different viewpoints etc etc, but I love you still!

Friend #5: I may not approve some of your decisions, but I'll always support you when you need me.

Friend #6: My lovely YTF partner ^^ You should know who you are!!!!! Heehee. I shall sing more cartoon theme songs to your ears.

Friend #7: My first good friend made in school!!!

Friend #8: You're number 8 on the list but you're not any less significant than anyone else here! We shall for go each others weddings as freaking VIPs in the future. You have no say, you will be my bride's maid. That is, if I ever manage to find someone worthy.

Friend #9: We haven't been talking much... But I'll find time for you soon. Miss fun times with you! Like random bus rides on random buses just to talk.

Friend #10: Are you still a friend? But I still wish all the best for you.

Friend #11: I hope you don't drift away when you find someone new... Like you always do. But then again, that's how you are and I won't blame you haha.

Friend #12: Thanks for always being there to listen to my rants about school and school people. You're a great friend/senior and I never thought we could be this close. Not superbly close, but close enough. :)

Friend #13: I will always accept you for who you are, no matter what others may say. Our kids will be best friends!! Glad to have you as my sister. :) Love late-nights with you.

Friend #14: You deserve a break. You're absolutely great at what you do. Don't worry about the future. You took care of mine, I'll take care of yours. (AWW CHEESZZY)

You can try guessing. If I wrote about you I'll probably tell you ^^

tweeting

2010-08-15T01:44:00.003+08:00

I am quite annoyed with some types of tweets I read on my main page every night.

Maybe I should create a list on what people should NOT tweet about.

Not that I personally don't like any one I am following now, just that I don't wanna read their tweets, ya know?

PS: Awwwww :")

PPS: I think I've lost all hope and confidence in relationships. Nowadays I look at happy young couples and I start warning them (in my head) that it won't last. Don't you just love my pessimism!!!!

school tomorrowwww

2010-08-11T00:35:00.005+08:00

AN IDEA JUST POPPED TO MY HEAD.

I shall create a list of what girls like in guys!!!!! For all you clueless dudes out there. So helpful.

Disclaimer - Don't take this for serious!!! It's not some sure-win formula. Then again if you're really desperate...

K HERE GOEZ

1 Have a direction in life. Like, realistic goals plox. Things like "I want to be a rich dude" or "I want to drive a Lamborghini" don't count ya.

2 Don't game. At least not excessively. Or don't engage in game-talks with your gamer dudes in front of girls or on FaceBook. Or anywhere where girls can see them.

3 Don't be freakishly obsessed over anime/manga. Read or watch - fine, but please don't paste the posters on your wall, put the characters as your FaceBook profile picture/computer wallpaper/screensaver... You get my drift.

4 Either be passionate about a sport or some musical instrument. Don't be passionate about your computer or PSP/PS2/PS3/XBox/DS.

5 Play hard to get. Girls fall for that. A lot. i.e. Be reeeeally busy. Or seem like it.

6 Baggy pants or skin-tight pants are forbidden.

7 Get a haircut.

I admit, 7 is a personal preference. But I'm sure 1-6 are standard requirements!!!!! Unless the girl also does 1-6 la, then I have nothing to say.

A-ha!!!! Now you have the ways to getting a girl. Actually... Not really. Girls are reeeally picky. Unless it's their first. Hahahahahaha

K time to sleep. This is good closure for the "holiday".

nothing in the sky said run for cover

2010-08-10T18:41:00.002+08:00

Editing my EoM now, but I kinda got distracted (as you can see).

A few weeks back, well maybe it was only last week - I lose track of time quite easily - it suddenly seemed like everyone became unlucky simultaneously. I was really freaked out. It was just a line-up of really serious injuries that involved ambulances, people falling sick for no reason, and even death.

Not that I personally knew the person; I don't even know how he looked like. But I'm probably never going to forget how I felt there. I don't know if that was counted as a wake. I have been to a number of funerals (of people I don't know) before when I was younger of course, but somehow, this one was different.

Maybe it was because I'm older, or because he was my teacher's husband.

If you think about it, it was kinda like my first time. Because this time, I felt something. I felt sad.

Honestly, when I was there, I felt awkward. Not because there were many other teachers there too, but because I didn't know what to do. Was I to comfort my teacher? Or was it best just to give her a tight hug of comfort? Was it wrong to smile or laugh? But if everyone was so solemn, wouldn't that make her feel worse?

I don't think people are afraid to die. We're probably more afraid to see others leave.

That week was intense. I wish I could do something to make my teacher feel better, but I think there's really nothing anyone can do. I'll just hand in my GP homework on time I guess.

Then again, my GP essay was due last Thursday. Sorry teacher :'(

new love

2010-08-07T18:26:00.001+08:00

Music love, that is. Meiko.

"Acoustic Rock."